Do you want to get naughty in nature? Let’s face it, sex in a tent is not easy and nothing is worse than getting the wrong stick in the butt. But, when it comes to getting down and dirty outdoors there are a few tricks to the “birds and the bees” trade. Keep reading to find out how to let your inner-buck go wild and free while roughing it in the buff.
Flirt Under the Sun
If you want to get lucky under the moonlight, flirt during the daylight. Flirting under the sun is the “warm up” phase to energize those “night owl” libidos. Nothing is more awkward than a mind-numbing trek through the woods, later topped off with a hand on the boob to rev those sexual juices. Stay adventurous through conversation and give the lady a hand on the trail. It’ll make her crave your twig and berries and howl underneath the moon.
Stay in the Tent
Unless you know the area like the back of your hand, stay inside the tent. It might sounds super exciting to replicate the Adam and Eve experience underneath a starry sky while picking the fruits of nature. But, ask yourself one question, “Have you ever experienced rug burn?” If so, bark burn feels a hell of a lot worse. Stepping on sticks, poison ivy on dicks—no one can beat the forces of nature. Stay indoors.
Stick with the Basics
Have you been dying to try a new move? Unless you have graduated from “Tent Sex 401,” stick with the basics. Tents are small, thin-walled objects that easily rustle and break without some “TLC.” Cushion the ground with towels, sleeping bags, pads or clothes to protect knees, hips, and spines.
Build a Love Nest
If you are positive that you will score on your next camping trip, build a love nest. Use a three-person tent for extra space and purchase sleeping bags that zip together. Sleeping bags zipped together make “getting it on” easier and allows for cuddling. It avoids the self-conscious moments of getting in and out of single bags especially when bitter-cold nights shrink and shrivel things below the belt line.
Avoid Food Substances
A basic “Camping 101” rule educates campers to hang food. Sex and food do not mix while camping. Kinky campers who want to drizzle smores and freeze-dried potato soup crumbs better save the food and sexcapades for the bedroom. Do you want to wake up in the middle of the night, running out of your tent covered in marshmallows and chip grease, fleeing from a ravenous bear? If not, hang the food and stick with the basics.
We love you, just remember that.