Do you skateboard to work while drinking a hemp milk latte? Do you hug trees every Saturday morning? Do you dream of eating sprouted bean salads accompanied by a glass of homemade kombucha? If so, these are clear indicators you are meant to live on the west coast. Keep reading to discover if your soul is meant to live out west.
You Know Tom
No, not Tom, the LA-resident and founder of MySpace, but you know Tom’s of Maine, the organic, chemical-free bathing products. You live, breathe, scrub and uncontrollably sweat from the aluminum and animal-testing-free products. Even if you stink like a gym bag and still battle coffee-stained teeth, you stay loyal to Tom for his dedication to make the planet a better world to live in. And you may know the other Tom, or TOMS, the over-priced slip-on shoe that cushions soles with a basket of weaved organic hemp.
Nature is Your Best Friend
You hug trees. You ground your feet in the earth. You pick up litter off the nature trails. And if you smoke, you “puff puff pass” the sweet grass from nature thanks to your “depression” and liberal-hippie-doctor prescribing you the most natural anti-depressant medicine on the planet. Way to go Colorado, Oregon, and Washington.
Dude is Part of Your Vocabulary
Dude, seriously, those who say, “dude” are destined to work part-time at the local burrito stand during lunch time hours. Which leaves plenty of time to surf before and after your four hour shift.
Pets are Part of the Family
If your dog has more clothes than you, then you are meant for the west coast. West coasters go above and beyond traditional veterinarian care. Fuzzy friends, reptiles, amphibians, fish, and birds are people too. Pet psychics, reiki healers, and acupuncturists now heal wounded four-legged friends. Why? Karma says the pet’s bad behavior is a result from poor past life choices. Energy healers transmute bad behavior and remove negative entities. No longer will “Miss Mittens” scratch your $2,000 West Elm leather couch and to that—thank your Feng Shui Intuitive Pet Master.
You have a Guru
Life coach, Birkenstock specialist, business swam and rainbow therapy expert—whatever you call it, you got it. You know The Secret and get wrapped up in the world of abundance. You spend countless dollars on coaching to manifest the next coffee ground-based soil product. The world is a happier place when recycling human waste to cultivate exceptional herbs.
You have Hippie Blood
You belong on the west coast if you dream of beating a drum at a beach bonfire while jamming to reggae music and contemplating on the evils of the world. Even if your down to earth and stuck int he material world, you have a different view on life. Trendy hippies shop at Anthropologie and Instagram their #healthy wheatgrass-infused smoothie topped with organic chia seeds served with quinoa steamed with truffle oil. Even if you are a modern hippie, you desire a life that goes with the flow of the ocean.
You are Never S.A.D.
The Standard American Diet (SAD) is not a part of your lifestyle. Eating high-fructose corn syrup, aspartame and MSG is against your religion. You are happiest when ingesting the sweet beetroots of nature flaked with kale chips. You are more likely to dress like a bumblebee and protest Monsanto than listen to scientists advocate for corn being a “natural” product. You love Farmer’s Markets, and home delivery root vegetable boxes are the greatest invention—ever.
You Want to Live a Rad Life
Is the skateboard park your textbook for life? Do you tattoo significant life events from your ears to your toes? Do you want to grow an organic garden and have your Golden Retriever, Brutus, rototill the lawn? Do you want to surf and eat fish tacos everyday until you’re 98? Whatever rad life you want to live, the west coast shows your true colors without judgment.
We love you, just remember that.